e to have legal rights to his own children； see them bear his name； be joint owner of the home they share。 As it is； their mother could at any time lock the door； throw him out； walk off with a new lover； taking the children with her。
I know a couple： a middle…aged business…man and a younger； professional woman。 His first marriage ended in divorce。 It cost him a lot of money。 Never again； he vows； will he put himself at such disadvantage。
His partner dreams of marriage and a family； but her reality is a long…term limbo。 The man’s friends don’t quite accept her。 The ex…wife won’t let the children meet her。 Occasions with his family place her discreetly in the background。 She feels they all regard her as inferior： the one not good enough； or loved enough； to be his wife。
There must be many similar scenarios； where the ones who； for reasons of their own； won’t mit themselves have it all their way； whilst those willing to give themselves freelysuffer in silence。
“How is married life？” I asked a childhood friend over a cup of coffee。 We were in our mid…twenties； hadn’t seen each other for years。 I’d heard she’d got married shortly after leaving school。
Duality 二重性（3）
“Not all it’s cracked up to be。” There was no mistaking the disillusion in her voice。 As she busied herself stirring her coffee； a tear fell from her eye； straight into the cup。
“He doesn’t make me happy；” she revealed despondently； surprising me； who had girlish illusions of marriage as a state of eternal bliss。 “What about him？” I inquired。 “How does he feel？”
Her reply was a blank look。 I probed further： “Is he unhappy； too？” She shrugged。 “Haven’t you talked to him about it？” “There’s no point；” she said dismissively。 “He’s not what I had hoped for。”
